Online Journaling as a Caregiver
Background
My memoir Seeing Joy is based on my 2006 blog “By Bea’s Bedside.” The plan was to keep relatives updated about my mother’s end-of-life journey. To my surprise, strangers started following and left comments. Joared in Chino, California, wrote: “What you are writing is meaningful for so many non-caregivers as well as caregivers. We should all remember at any age, if we’re not caregivers now, we may be sooner than we think.” I went to bed that night feeling grateful that my words had moved someone.
Therapy?
Posting to my blog came to feel like journaling as I recorded the banal details of what happened each day. I would sit down and let the words flow …
The daily writing session did distract me from the reality of my situation, but therapy was not my motivation. I wrote because I feel uncomfortable if I don’t write. When I write, I find myself in a field of creative happiness. I run and run and often lose track of time.
Writing Process
My 96-year-old mother was very verbal. Since I never knew what Bea would say, I got into the habit of keeping a legal pad in her bedroom and jotting down words during her talking sprees. As she declined, I spent more hours by her bedside but always made a point of finding the time to write. Often, I was obliged to don my reporter’s hat. Wearing it made me more resilient faced with the inevitable emotion at the prospect of soon losing a loved one.
Knowledge
When you care for an elderly parent, you are given the opportunity to get close to something profound, closer, in fact, than I personally have ever been, except perhaps while giving birth. The elderly can be like infants, totally helpless, but if you pay attention, they will often share what they are experiencing. Anyone who chooses a nursing home for a parent is not likely to know this closeness. Like quality time for a child, the moment must be just right. What a privilege it was to hold Bea’s hand as she faced the unknown. The mystery of it was awe-inspiring.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash