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Narcissism is a topic that is both seductive and perplexing – and has everything and nothing do with writing.
I’ve written about the topic of narcissism, I’ve experienced the topic, I’ve known people who are the topic. Now, author Steve Almond writes on Cognoscenti about the topic in regards to writing, and it’s instructive and wise on many levels. Among other things he discusses how to write, when to hold judgment on what others write, who “decides” (and who shouldn’t be deciding) who lives a life that is memoir-worthy. He writes about the issue of one writer who wrote an online piece about of a particular sexual encounter:
“The writing itself was candid, but almost entirely devoid of insight. [The author] didn’t portray the incident; she transcribed it.”
Know the kind of writing he’s talking about?
Click here to read Steve Almond’s The Literary World’s Latest Teapot-Sized Tempest: Or, When Writers Attack!
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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Yes, absolutely know what you’re getting at in terms of the difference between the telling of an event or a life, and actually speaking it’s truth for the reader. Think that’s why the most unexpected memoirs, if they speak the truth, can be the most fun to read.
This happens in fiction writing too. I just read an awful young adult novel (and there are so many good ones out there right now. Why did I waste my time?!) where the main character is completely devoid of insight about her stupid self. She’s so narcissistic and unappealing. Her lack of depth ruined what was otherwise an interesting premise for a story. Sigh.
I wonder whether memoir writing is inherently narcissistic to some extent. Just thinking…
Sometimes it’s hard to find the balance between putting too much of yourself in a piece of writing and being a detached narrator.
There are actually few memoirs that I have enjoyed reading, often for this reason.
I agree with Brette. I like a good memoir, but I was always taught in any class I took in memoir writing that it has to have that essential element – that it has to not only have insight, but has to be universal in some way, that people have to relate. I find that’s why I don’t like reading many blogs (yours being one of the exceptions!) It might tell a story, it might give me some information, but I find myself saying so often, “So? How does this benefit/better me?” So often I feel the writer or blogger is just writing or blog to get something out there or fulfill some sort of obligation to themselves.
It’s so important to remember when writing anything for an audience that our readers have to be able to get something out of it to be able to feel moved and engaged with the work. Asking how what we write will serve our readers better is a good way to avoid the trap of narcissism, I think.
Thanks for the reference to this excellent, thoughtful piece.
There is definitely a difference between telling the story and a true memoir. I think, that’s why so many blogs-to-books fail because they merely rehash the real-time nature of the blog, rather than sort through and retell the story with a purposeful arc and insight.
Once upon a time someone suggested that this is a great writing tool: So what? In other words, why are you writing it? Why does the reader care? Sometimes it’s difficult for me to get there, but if the writer doesn’t care – if I’m just yammering about myself – they’re not going to keep reading.
Well, yes, I do know what he means by that, but as a couple of his commenters pointed out–Is insight the purpose of memoir? And does it have to be explicitly expressed in order to be insight?
My larger question is, “Are we overestimating the reading public?” Sure we’d like to have nothing but well-educated and analytic readers, but in a world where Cable TV thrives on shows like “Lizard Lick Towing”–a reality show (TV version of memoir?) about a tow truck company run by a couple of hefty bubbas, maybe we’re expecting too much. And do we REALLY want nothing but college-educated comparative lit readers? That would certainly narrow the field of writers, wouldn’t it?
Freaky weirdness–I picked up Tiny Beautiful Things tonight, and it has an intro by Steven Almond. Then, also tonight, I came here and he’s in your headline. Next thing I’m going to walk to the bedroom and find him in my bed.
Or not. I think narcissism is the opposite of good memoir writing. The best memoir takes a life experience and offers it as a gift to the reader–to enrich the reader’s life in some way. It’s scary and selfless. Bad memoir is narcissism–writing about me me me because the writer feels me is so important. The first is interesting and addictive to read. The second is so boring that no one reads it but the writer and maybe the writer’s mother.
Goes back to “show don’t tell”?
What’s interesting to me is that while our own lives often seem dull as a rock, they can be quite fascinating to someone else. At least, I’m always fascinated reading about someone else’s “dull” life.
Excellent article. Thanks for the reference. Anything that’s me-me-me is a real turn off, especially in a memoir. I want to know that life altering lesson the writer learned from his experience and not so much about how he felt.