The writer talks about secret gems hidden inside the known, waiting and the value of all our pages.
AIMEE BENDER is the author of The Girl in the Flammable Skirt (a New York Times Notable Book, 1998), An Invisible Sign on My Own (Los Angeles Times book pick of 2000) and Willful Creatures (nominated by The Believer as one of the best books of the 2005). Twice the winner of the Pushcart prize, her short fiction has appeared in numerous publications including GQ, Harpers, McSweeney’s, The Paris Review, and many more, and heard on This American Life. Her newest book, a novel, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, was very recently published by Doubleday. [Side note: Here's another interesting interview with Aimee in The Wall Street Journal online, about her newest book.)
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Meredith: I was trained as a therapist and as a result was trained to strike a delicate balance of letting the client guide the session but also encouraging growth and change. There are, however, times when the therapist, in order to help the client move forward (or deeper), must raise issues to keep the process from stagnating. How do you see this playing out for the creator/writer? For you?
AIMEE: Interesting question. I do generally follow the first route, where I'm letting the story (client) guide where I'm going. In fact, that seems to be the only way I'm able to get work to move forward. Maybe the parallel is that I'm paying close attention to where the fire is, where the juice is, and if something seems interesting but I've skipped over it, then I really try to slow down and return to the scene/moment and dig around. I can get a better sense now of when I'm racing past something potentially loaded.
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Meredith: Homeostasis is a concept I learned on my first day of graduate school. It means the desire to revert back to the familiar, for things to remain the same. As a writer, how do you remedy this type of stagnation which can thwart creativity? Or, do you believe there’s a time for it?
AIMEE: I think the familiar can be okay—I guess my main feeling is that the writer has to write what's interesting to her/him on any particular day, and that may be the familiar on Tuesday and something adventurous on Wednesday. But
usually if we're drawn to something familiar, it's because there's more in there; something unfamiliar is hiding inside the known. So if a writer wants to write constantly about baseball, but is doing it with increasing focus and care, then that seems fine to me. Stagnating does happen—but for me it has more to do with a certain level of concentration than any content or topic. I stagnate when I am having trouble concentrating, which may in itself be a clue that something's brewing...
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Meredith: I once heard you speak at Vroman’s in Pasadena (a long time ago!). You shared that one of your favorite places to write was in your closet because the confined space provided a feeling of safety. As someone who has long been a small-space writer, I totally related. Can you share how this frees you up to expand—on the page?
AIMEE: Nice that you remember that. I did write in the closet for 2+ years, but then moved out of it and felt liberated. It was small in there, and dusty! But I do like small spaces, and I don't want to look out the window while writing because then I just want to look out the window. There's a quote by E.L. Doctorow, and I'm going to paraphrase it badly here, but it's something about how you want the words to be the way in, the way through. The window. So small spaces add a certain containment for me that can allow me to go deeper into the material.
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Meredith: Ira Glass, host of This American Life, once said: “Keep following the thread where instinct takes you. Force yourself to wait things out.” Does your writing require a lot of waiting?
AIMEE: Yes! I love this quote. Waiting is so hard. I often quote Adam Phillips, a British psychoanalyst, who talks about boredom, and talks about boredom as a place of waiting. And I think it's true—on the other side there is work, but there's a deep restlessness between me and the work sometimes and all I want to do is anything else. I write so many pages that I end up cutting, so it's waiting in the quiet, and it's waiting while working, too.
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Meredith: How do you not hold on so tight to a piece of writing that isn’t working (that you wish would work) and let go so you might discover what will work?
AIMEE: I usually work on something else. Or several other things. Until I start to miss the first piece and go back to it a little fresher. And if I don't feel like going back to it, then I think that's meaningful too, and the lessons I learned in it will show up in the next piece which is often easier to write. I like to believe that all the work is useful, even if it's not working.
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AIMEE lives in Los Angeles and teaches writing at USC. When I asked for something quirky about herself she wrote: “I'm the daughter of a psychoanalyst, so these psych questions are very satisfying. I have a compost wheel that is not working but I keep dumping fruit and veggies in there, hoping.” Visit her website for links to her stories and more.
[Thanks, Aimee!]
Photos courtesy of Aimee Bender.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s so interesting what she says about being a “small space writer.” I’m this way too, though I never really thought much about it. I can’t write at all if I go to a big library or even a coffee shop for example. I need a little nook. I also like the idea of forcing oneself to wait things out. I’m so antsy and impatient as a writer, though I’ve seen time and time again that the best way for me to work is to sit back and wait. I also agree that stagnating has more to do with concentration than subject matter.
Great interview, as always
Love this line – I’m paying close attention to where the fire is, where the juice is, and if something seems interesting but I’ve skipped over it, then I really try to slow down and return to the scene/moment and dig around. This applies not only to writing but to your own life as well. Oftentimes we rush around so much that we fail to notice the most important things.
And now I’m also going to re-think my (very small) desk that I keep wishing was larger….maybe I can think of it as safe and contained rather than constricting.
I find it so fascinating how we all have the things and spaces that work for us. I’ve tried writing in a small space and felt confined – physically and mentally – and I love windows. I think it would be great to find a book that explores the psychology of why certain environments work for different writers/creatives.
Great interview!
Great interview! It’s always interesting to read authors who have found success with such an off-beat/distinctive voice rather than writing more commercially oriented works.
A closet writer! Love it. I write in a tiny little square of a room and happily so on most days. Though recently I swung by a galpal’s place and she has a full-on fabulous ocean/beach view and I have to tell you I thought: Is there a more glorious place from which to toil on your laptop?
The idea of forcing yourself to be patient and wait things out is so important. It seems like many things develop and come to fruition over time.
Wow, I’m just the same way. I need a small, enclosed space in which to work. I think it gives me a feeling of safety, plus the feeling that I’m completely enclosed in my own world and my thoughts can swirl around, bounce off the walls, and not get lost in the universe.
I haven’t read Aimee’s books yet but this inspiring interview makes me want to go buy them! I’ll check the local library first. Thanks Meredith for introducing me to yet another great writer!
Such an amazing interview! I’m printing it out and posting it beside my computer. Great questions, equally great answers.
Huh, writing in the closet–what a cool concept. Reminds me of one of my favorite book, Virginia Woolf’s, “A Room of One’s Own.” I guess for Aimee it’s a closet of her own.
thought provoking questions and answers, Meredith, thanks. the part about waiting reminds me of several songwriters I’ve interviewed who liken that part of their work to having your line in the water and waiting when you’re out fishing.
Great questions and great answers. I, too, loved the idea of waiting and being patient–which is the hard part for me…
Just wonderful. I definitely need help following the thread to its end and slowing down. This was really helpful.
I really appreciate the comments about waiting. I have so many beginnings that are patiently waiting on my computer desktop for the time when I will figure out the middles and ends. I wish I could be as patient as my beginnings.
Intrigued by the idea of writing in small spaces, I was not surprised to see Aimee’s response to this short-lived journey. As writers, I wonder if we all need to move around in order NOT to stagnate. Also, though I’ve never once thought I’d write in a closet, I find that an interesting possibility to consider.
I’m so sorry I haven’t been around here in a while. There’s always an interesting idea or concept to take away.